|* A woman
is suing Wal-Mart. Her daughter bought a shot gun from Wal-Mart
and then committed suicide. The woman says Wal-Mart
should have known her daughter was depressed because she had
purchased anti-depressants from Wal-Mart's pharmacy. (Isn't
there a bunch of privacy laws forbidding the sharing of medical
records?) Oh, she bought the gun at a DIFFERENT Wal-Mart, one
that was 5 miles away, but they still should have known. Geeze.....She
is suing for $25 million.......unbelievable.
The top polluter in the world today is?..........Mount
St. Helen's, believe it or not.
* Performance Artist, Mark McGowen,
who recently had pushed a peanut with his nose to Tony Blair's
house as a protest to the Iraq War, last month sat in
front of a British government building and ate a fox......to
protest the fox hunting law in England.
* A Palestinian man named Sarghouti,
wants to be the new President of the Palestinian people,
replacing Arafat. He is currently in an Israeli jail serving 5
life terms for killing Israelis. He is ahead in the polls and
the Israelis may release him because they think he is more
moderate than some of the other candidates.
* Canada's military is 10,000
strong. There are 15,000 policemen in New York
City......NYC could beat up Canada?
* In New Zealand they found a mass
grave recently..........of 56 pilot whales..... Science
has no idea what happened or what this is all about or who
* A man walked into a convenience
store and said to the lady behind the counter, "I have a gun,
this is a robbery!" It was a joke, the lady behind the
counter was his mother. A customer heard the remark and called
9-11. The police showed up and found marijuana in the robber's
car. The robber and his friend were arrested. At the police
station, instead of calling his lawyer, he called his girlfriend
and talked her into coming down to the station and claiming the
drugs belonged to her. (the fake robber had been arrested twice
before and was on probation, he would go to jail, this time) She
did. She was arrested for filing a false claim. The police
monitor ALL CALLS at the police station and taped the entire
conversation. The fake robbers are not in jail.
* Inflation is the lowest since the
1960's. I thought the economy was so bad?
* A World Bank report said 2004 was
the most prosperous year in world history. Especially,
poor nations, their economies grew the most!! I would call that
great news. The reason? More nations are turning to capitalism
and an increase in world trade.
* Science experts say gravity is
losing it's pull. Really? Oh, I did watch a NBA
game the other night and it did seem the players were jumping
higher........and couldn't this solve the obesity problem?
* Diet soda is outselling regular
soda. That should help the obesity epidemic, too.
* A bride and groom flew in a
helicopter from their church service to the reception. It
crashed and both were killed.........can you imagine the
* Florida police used taser stun
guns on a man in a wheel chair. The man in the wheel
chair had thrown a soda can at a 13 year old. The man in the
wheel chair was armed with a pair of scissors..........
* Tom Cruise, while making the movie
War Of The Worlds, bought some ice cream. While paying
for the cone he saw a little donation container for a local girl
who needed medical help and he put over $6,000 into the bucket.
* In France, a man in a Santa Claus
suit was handing out candy, when a group of youngsters,
kicked him to the ground, beat him up and stole his bag of
candy......The Christmas Spirit?
* China is now going to allow
juries. Yes, in Communist Red China. Instead of a
government official deciding if you are innocent or guilty, they
will now allow juries. It's revolutionary!!
* A paper recently was forced to NOT
use the words Christmas cookies in an advertisement, it
now must be Holiday cookies.
* A baby was born weighing 8.6 oz
and is doing very well. The smallest human to ever survive birth
on record. She fits in the palm of your hand.
* North Korea (last pure communist
nation on earth) is the only nation on earth without a case of
AIDS......you get the feeling they may have lied on the
report? or maybe they just kill anyone infected?
* According to a report by the
Heritage foundation, freedom and democracy are growing
throughout the world. (you think freeing 50 million
people in Iraq and Afghanistan might have something to do with
that?) Of the 192 nations, only one
this last year has regressed...........Russia.
* There is a big fight on what to
call the Persian Gulf. On newer maps, there is a new
trend to call the Persian Gulf the Arab Gulf........it may not
sound like a big deal, but Iran is threatening war over
it....they like Persian Gulf.......they are not Arab, but
* Bryan Adams (singer?) had his
unwashed socks sell for $1,000 on Ebay.
* A teacher fed her pre-schoolers
real dog food because they were "role playing" as
puppies. She took the dog food out of a display that showed the
students what NOT to eat.......the parent's are a little upset
to say the least.
* Scientists claim ants use geometry
to find their way home........how do they really know
that?.....little compasses? protractors? a teenie weenie text
* Paper or Plastic? Which is
best for the environment?.......A Garbologist from Yale claims
they are both equally as bad. Plastic flies away from the land
fills and paper does not degrade as fast as people think.
* A Pop Artist from Germany is in
trouble for his latest art exhibit. It is all about
Adolph Hitler, trying to show the more human side of De Fuehrer,
geeze.........oh, his art exhibit was shown 15 miles from Dachau.
He has been forced to remove it.
* Elvis is the #1 top selling dead
person in the world. His daughter, Lisa Marie (former
wife of Michael Jackson) is selling the rights to his name for
$100 million. She is keeping Graceland where over 650,000 tours
are conducted every year. (done that 3 times, now)
* A man was charged with his 34th
OWI recently. You think there may be a drinking problem?
or maybe a law enforcement problem?
* The number of official flu cases
in Iowa (right before Christmas) was?...........2, and
now they are complaining there is too much flu vaccine and it
* A lady left the bus and forgot her
purse. A nice gentlemen decided to discreetly look inside
and see if he could find some identification.........He found a
human skull instead........It appears it was stolen from some
type of archeological dig.
* A peeping Tom was caught hiding in
the women's locker room at a YMCA.......He was in a
shower stall using a little mirror to peak.......He was caught
when the women noticed his hairy feet.
* A Teen kills his friend because he
was sitting in his dog's favorite chair and the friend
refused to move.....He was bludgeoned with a baseball bat.......Geeze,
* Brittany Spear recently bought a
steak for $175.........then gave it to her little
dog......Bit Bit.......the chef was furious....