3/24/2007

Tryon University Presents

THE DEAN'S LIST

The Official Newsletter Of The Big Dogs Who Attend Tryon University
Home Of The Fighting Cocker Spaniels!!
Where learning never stops and no one ever graduates!!

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Back In The Saddle Again!!
Tryon University hopes you enjoy the following newsletter and encourages you to spread the word and have your friends and family sign up at the Tryon University home page. Go Cockers!!

Big Announcement!!
The Faculty of Tryon University are proud to announce the establishment of another, high quality, no child left behind, Educational Department. Tryon University's very own Music Department. A place to go where you can share some of the "unique" music you remember hearing at Tryon University. Just Click Here To Enjoy.

Mr. T's Stack Of Stuff:

Ok, I know I am an old timer, but when I started teaching in the early 1970s, the BIG SCARE was Global Cooling. We are on the verge of a new ICE AGE, they said, and we all  must stop this climate change from happening. Don't believe me? The picture to the left is from Time Magazine and their cover story about the new Ice Age. Now I am no science guy and do not have a clue on what is what, but do they? I can only look at things historically, so CLICK HERE to view a page from Time Magazine explaining Global Cooling. Notice the charts and how it is always America's fault.

The City Of Paris turned off the lights of the Eiffel Tower for a few minutes to show how everyone must be aware of the problem of Global Warming. Experts said the act of turning the lights off and then on, used more energy then if they would have just stayed on. I sure feel good about the awareness thing, though.

In an effort to help feed his starving people. Kim Jung Il, the Socialist leader of North Korea, has decided to import giant rabbits from Germany......he bought 8.......8? to feed North Korea?......but you know, those pesky rabbits do multiply rather quickly...and the dogs in North Korea have to be happy about this......OK, I think the picture was doctored a little.....

The 10 Most Polluted Areas In The World......
3 are in Russia, 1 in Ukraine, 2 in China, 1 in Africa, 1 in Peru, 1 in the Caribbean and 1 in India..........hmmmmmmm.... None of the most polluted areas are in capitalist nations. Capitalism has the money to clean up it's messes, I guess.

The World's Third Largest Air Force is located in Tucson, Arizona. It is called the Tucson Bone Yard and people may tour it. Everyone of these planes can fly and they are held in reserve in case they are ever needed gain. It is the only department in the United States Air Force that makes a profit.

A Lady Bowls A 244....................She is legally blind and is 94 years old.

Dog Born Without Ears.......Geeze, my cocker has them, but does not seem to listen very well.

In the United Kingdom, the government is offering FREE surgery for obese people to help with their condition.........1000s of citizens are now gorging themselves with food so they can qualify for the free gastric bypass operation.

New Invention..........Donuts with Caffeine.....so now with the coffee and with these caffeinated donuts you can really wake up for work.

A 23 foot python has eaten 11 dogs in a village........some were guard dogs.

A man just received 1 year in prison for groping?......... a mannequin......well, maybe groping was not the correct word.

PETA is being sued for cruelty to animals. They were caught trying to get rid of dead dogs and cats by filling garbage sacks with the dead animals and then dumping them. Some PETA shelters put to sleep 1000s of pets a year.....Let's see, if I did that wouldn't PETA be all over me?

Global Warming has now been linked to suicides and terrorism......

Ex. President Jimmy Carter has said there are too many Jewish people on the Holocaust Committee that oversees the museum in Washington DC. So like what is the correct number Mr. Carter?

Ford Motor Company lost 12.7 BILLION dollars last year....Ouch.......

"The United States and Israel will soon be destroyed!".......said The President of Iran.

A New England school has banned talking during lunch........citing safety issues.......right......they said they had a couple instances of choking this year....How about banning eating during lunch? That would protect the students much more......

Prince Charles is showing off his art work.....they are putting his paintings next to Picasso's and Dahli's.......nice ego

Prince Charles has announced he is cancelling his annual ski trip to Switzerland this year to do his part to prevent Global Warming....I know I will sleep easier.....and I may cancel my trip to Colo....

New study.....Half of Iowa HS linemen who play football are OVERWEIGHT......No?....Really?.....what about the other positions and sports?...I bet half of shot putters are too....let's make a weight limit for linemen....Isn't age a factor too?

New Reality TV Program in Europe.....a dating game, but ALL contestants must be physically disfigured......geeze......TV stooping a little low here?

Man was caught smuggling sharks to Europe.....young leopard sharks.......the man was a minister.......geeze

A public high school has banned the cheer USA during competitions.....they say it is an insult.

New Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi blinked 25-30 times per second during the President's State Of The Union Speech as she and VP Cheney sat behind the podium.....journalists have nothing better to do?

Teachers put an unruly child into a body sock to control him. Hanging him from the door....Parents are upset and are suing.

California law seeks to ban parents from spanking their children.

Shreck is the new spokesmen for Childhood Obesity in America.....Gee....Isn't he a little overweight?....well, maybe not for an ogre. Couldn't they have chosen Spiderman or Wonder Woman?

At Robert Redford's Sundance Film Festival, one movie showed humans being VERY friendly with zoo animals and another film showed the rape of a 12 year old girl.....both movies won awards and rave reviews.....Geeze can movies get any lower?....this is art?

At an Air Glider Contest in Australia, an air glider was attacked by two eagles, causing her to crash land. She was not seriously injured. She was attacked at 8,000 feet. A spokesmen said, "Eagles are the sharks of the air."

People are complaining that runway models are TOO THIN and very unhealthy. Italy and Spain are trying to pass a law banning thin models. Speaking of fashion.........supporting your favorite politician is becoming Vogue.....notice the model wearing "Hillary". Another big fad they are trying to push is wearing horse heads, yes....dressing up like horses.....don't you just love artists? Maybe the models are supporting Mr. Ed for president.......or Flicka or Seabiscuit?

 

In Kansas City, a man stops to help a man get his car started and the man steals HIS car.

A doctor, who wanted to gain favor with an exotic dancer, gave her a human hand as a present. Weeks later, she was arrested for displaying a human hand in her apartment.

In Texas, a 65 year old man was going for a walk and was attacked by an angry pit bull. The man choked the dog to death....Don't Mess With Texas.

In Japan, scientists have come up with a new drink......called BILK......a mixture of beer and milk.

Pet authorities have rescued a 31 lb cat from it's owners saying the cat was too fat.....They have named the cat Albertus Magnus....Latin for Fat Albert......

TV ratings for the Super were the 2nd highest ever.

Science experts say the human skin is full of bacteria. There are 182 different species of bacteria on the average forearm. 8% of the species of bacteria are UNKNOWN.

A man was arrested for using a stun gun on a baby.......

Polar Bear experts say there are over 50,000 polar bears in Northern Canada alone. The highest ever recorded, but Global Warming experts are using the polar bears as symbols of the earth's climate change crisis. The following picture has been seen recently in the media....you can almost hear the two bears crying for help.........but they do not show the entire picture....and it is an ICE SCULPTURE, not an ice berg......and they NEVER tell you that polar bears can swim OVER 100 miles. Iceland is complaining that because of EXTRA ice this winter in the artic, polar bears are making it to their country for the first time in 60 years.

Scientists Have Perfected Images That Create Unbelievable Pictures of babies in the womb.....Believe It Or Not.
 


 

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